Y! Music Weekly Music News Recap

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1. *NSYNC’s Lance Bass Is *NTo Men – The boy-band star announces he’s gay.
2. George Michael: Careless Tryster – The Wham! man is once again caught cruising in a public park.
3. Lionel Richie’s Daughter Not Exactly Three Times A Lady – Lionel confesses he’s worried about Nicole’s weight.
4. “Deja Vu” All Over Again? – Beyonce fans demand she re-shoot her new video.
5. New Orleans Rappers Pass The Mic – Master P, Romeo, and Silkk The Shocker have lots to say about their post-Katrina ‘hood.
6. Lindsay Lohan Too Hot For Her Own Good – Was L.Lo’s heatstroke was caused by her fire-crotch, as Brandon Davis claims?
7. Best Music Video Ever Is Released – Like kung fu? Cowboys? Laser battles? Unicorns? Then you’re going to love Muse’s “Knights Of Cydonia.”
8. The Artist Formerly Known As Married – Prince is getting divorced for the second time.
9. What A Girl Wants – Christina Aguilera wants you to be in her new video.
10. A Los Lonely Bad Boy? – He may sing “Heaven,” but Los Lonely Boys’ JoJo Garza has been busted for unangelic behavior.

Well, the big not-so-shocking newsflash of the week is that *NSYNC’s Lance Bass, formerly known as The Cute One, will henceforth be known as The Gay One. And by gay, we mean both homosexual and very happy, as he seems thrilled with his decision to come out of the closet. So far, his outing has gone much more smoothly than it did for George “I Want Your Sex” Michael, who unlike Lance was forced to go public after he was caught with his pants down, literally, in a Beverly Hills park. Unfortunately, eight years after that career-killing incident, ole Georgie boy is still looking for love in all the wrong places: This week he was caught by British paparazzi engaging in a little Wham!-bam-thank-you-man in a London park, with what U.K. tabloid News Of The World described as a “pot-bellied, 58-year-old, jobless van driver. (Sheesh–it brings new meaning to George’s song title “Kissing A Fool,” huh?) Apparently when George sang, “I gotta have faith,” that didn’t mean he had to be faith-ful to his longtime, long-suffering boyfriend, Kenny Goss…

Speaking of suffering, some Beyonce fans are so dismayed by the diva’s allegedly underwhelming new video, “Deja Vu,” they’ve started a petition demanding that the clip be entirely re-shot. Citing what they consider to be “erratic, confusing, and alarming” choreography; “unbelievable and ridiculous” costumes; and “unacceptable interactions” and “non-existent sexual chemistry” between Ms. Knowles and her co-starring boyfriend Jay-Z, the 4,000 or so petitioners are begging Beyonce’s record label, Columbia, to go back to the drawing board (or editing room, as it were). Wow, is it really that bad? Watch the video here so you can make an informed decision before you add your own John Hancock to the petition…

OK, it’s time to go, so we’ll leave you with one video that’s getting just as much attention these days, but will surely never be the subject of any petition…unless it’s a petition to give it its own cable channel, so it can be run in a continuous, commercial-free loop for all eternity. That genius video is Muse’s unicorn-filled “Knights Of Cydonia”–which, we’re pleased to report, contains pretty much nothing but alarming choreography and ridiculous costumes. Happy viewing, and do make sure to come back next Friday for more amusing and bemusing music news!

Lyndsey Parker, Yahoo! Music